Top Ten Things...Never heard in church

10. "Hey, mister, get up! It's my turn to sit on the front seat!"

9. "Pastor, I was so blessed that I didn't even notice the service went over time by 35 minutes!"

8. "You know, I enjoy coming to Sunday School so much more fun than going fishing on Sunday."

7. "Oh, good! We have another missionary with us today!"

6. "Pastor, I'd like to volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the junior high Sunday School class."

5. "Yes, I would so appreciate having the opportunity to serve on the clean-up committee!"

4. "I just love singing choruses I've never heard before."

3. "Well, it seems the sanctuary is already filled, so let's just start the service early."

2. "Pastor, we would like to send you to the month-long Bible seminar on Maui."

And the number one statement nver heard in church is:

1. "Nothing inspires me like the annual stewardship campaign!"