You might be a pastor if....

I stole this off a thread on Baptistboard!!! http://www.baptistboard.com/showthread.php?p=1189549#post1189549

I was laughing my head off...
Any pastor can relate to these...

YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF...
~ Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
~You've ever lied at a funeral.
~ You always read the obituaries.
~ You've ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.
~ You wonder why people who have some time to kill want to spend it with you.
~ You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion"
~ The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
~ Your car tires are balding faster than your head.
~ You wish someone would steal some of your sheep.
~ You've seen more religion at a pool hall than you've seen at a Church softball match.
~ Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.
~ "Annual Church Meeting" and "Armageddon" are one and the same to you.
~ You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the church
building.
~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.
~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.
~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.
~ You see a picnic as no picnic.
~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.
~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.
~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.
~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.
~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.
~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.
~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.
~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.